When it comes to dating a trans woman in a bar or other place, it should be like you would date any other woman. Nevertheless, if you are not a transgender and want to go into dating a trans woman, there are some things you should not ask on a first date. As they could ruin the possibility of a relationship, here are some questions you should keep in mind not to ask as you go on your date.
Do not ask a trans woman where she is from or when she began her gender identification process
You actually do not need to know things like where she’s from or when she began to identify as a trans woman. This is because becoming transgender is not something that happens overnight and many of them actually grew up identifying as they are at the moment even if they did not publicly do it. They are usually not comfortable discussing their past lives as they usually visualize that life-like cage that hinders them from expressing their true self.
Do not ask about the medical nature of her physical transition or about her sexual organs
“Did you have the operation?” is one very uncomfortable question for trans women and also one question you should avoid asking, especially on the first date. If this is something the trans woman wants to talk about, she will let you in on her secrets as time goes on.
Also, the stereotype that all trans women usually undergo an operation to alter their physicality is actually not true. A lot of them prefer not to undergo surgery and prefer to keep themselves the way they were from birth. So you may want to keep that in mind for your next date.
Do not ask about marital or family status
Avoid asking a trans woman about her family and marital status on the first date. This is because many of them want to actually put their past behind them. Some have come out of abusive marriages because of their identity or have been ostracized from the family. So asking a trans woman about marital and family status is a sensitive question you should avoid.
Avoiding all kinds of labeling related to one’s identity
Just because she does not fit into the cultural stereotype of a “man” or “woman” does not make her any less a person capable of expressing feelings and emotions. Especially when she’s not acting or behaving as you had assumed she should. For instance “I thought you’d look more feminine” comments like this might not sound harmful or offensive to you, but to a trans woman, it does.
Respect her identity and get to know her better, make her feel comfortable around you and with you and she would discuss anything sensitive she would want to tell you. So it is important you patiently wait and let her unfold herself rather than being in a hurry and getting it all wrong.
Avoid political talk on this particular issue
Another important question to avoid asking is what her political views are as it relates to trans-sexuality. This is because of society’s view on trans-sexuality and how it affects transsexuals. You can discuss other political matters but avoid bringing up this particular topic.